Remember all those years that I thought you were something fine?
Constantly on your arm and you were constantly on my mind?
I guess I should have been surprised when I found out about all you'd done
And if you're listening you know where this is headed and I've only begun...

'Cause you have Chlamydia!
(Ooo, ooo, chlamydia!)
'They gave you Chlamydia!
(Ooo, ooo, chlamydia!)
And I'm happy that I know you enough to know better
But I'm happier you're out of my life.

Remember that during summer you had lots and lots of Craigslist sex?
Or possibly most recently you hooked up with your best friend's ex?
Your room's been a revolving door of anonymous, casual flings
And most men would think that you've got game
But you still live with your grandparents - ZING!

And you have Chlamydia!
(Ooo, ooo, chlamydia!)
'They gave you Chlamydia!
(Ooo, ooo, chlamydia!)
And I'm happy that I know you enough to know better
But I'm happier you're out of my life.

And it doesn't mean a thing
Compared to what you've done to me personally.

Remember how you slept with your ex-girlfriends while we were dating?
I guess you forgot.
It also slipped your mind to say or mention that you still sell pot.
Remember how you cheated on me and lied about it every day?
And how I got a call from one of them and knew exactly what she'd say:

You gave her Chlamydia!
(Ooo, ooo, chlamydia!)
'Cause you have Chlamydia!
(Ooo, ooo, chlamydia!)
And I'm happy that I know you enough to know better
But I'm happier you're out of my life.

'Cause you have Chlamydia!
(Ooo, ooo, chlamydia!)
They gave you Chlamydia!
(Ooo, ooo, chlamydia!)
And I'm happy that I know you enough to know better
But I'm happier you're out of my life.